When I Chose the Wrong Door — And Found My Power

In 2017, my daughter was only five. That was the year I decided to divorce — and everything changed.

I was scared. I didn’t have a home. I had no network. I was still holding on to the beliefs I carried from my Iranian culture — that a divorced woman was a failure. I didn’t know how to tell my family. I didn’t know how I would survive in Norway, as a single mother, alone.

For a few months, I had no place to live. I was sleeping in my small gallery, and when I had my daughter (we shared 50/50 custody), I would go back to her room at my ex-husband’s place and sleep there. I had no space of my own — only fear, pain, and the will to keep going.

I poured my emotions into painting — a series I later called “Rooms with Plug-In and Plug-Out” — each canvas holding my insecurity, confusion, and survival in silence.

And then… I met someone.

He was an artist, a toy designer, and he showed me love — or what I thought was love. I was so vulnerable, so broken. I said yes when he offered to live together, mostly out of fear: “What if I can’t pay rent? What if I stay alone? What if I can’t survive?”

But that decision came with a heavy price.

He started controlling me. Isolating me from friends. Accusing me. Manipulating me. Even my little girl could feel the energy. She once said, “Mama, just say yes to him so he doesn’t get angry.”

Eventually, it turned into constant fights, threats, and emotional pain. I had to go to the police and ask for protection.

And with the help of my beautiful, caring friends, I got out.

⸻

Here’s the truth I learned:
 • Never jump into another relationship out of fear.
 • Pain must be felt — not escaped.
 • If someone makes you feel small, it’s not love.
 • You don’t need someone to save you — you need to invest in yourself.

If you’re in a similar situation right now, please… listen to your feelings.

Write them down.

Ask yourself: Am I happy? Am I growing? Or am I just surviving?

The joy you’re looking for will never come from someone else — it comes from healing yourself.

And I promise you this:

If I could rise again… so can you.

You are stronger than you know.

You are not alone.

And your real power begins the moment you decide to choose yourself.